I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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