she smelled like a LAN party
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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