that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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