did you get engaged???
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
