Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
