DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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