I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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