carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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