I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
