I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
