DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
