i barfeds in our rink
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
