I'm lost and stupid without you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
