i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
