A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
home. puking in laundry basket.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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