it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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