Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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