It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
