when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
