My friends, they love my intelligence
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
