physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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