I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
