420 ftw
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
