We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
