In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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