We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
