I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
