I think im going to throw up on grandma
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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