Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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