first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
