i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
