bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
