pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
