So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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