A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
