Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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