i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
