I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
