also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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