She said her name was "party"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
