Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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