You just made me feel so damn special
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
