I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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