No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
