I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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