Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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