My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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