I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i think i just lost a toe
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
