I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
