Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
