Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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