Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My balls are so social today.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
